| I know i have no real reason to be so upset with my life right now, besides the fact that this great, amazing, and the closest guy to perfect broke up with me. Ever since that day, my life just seems to be getting worse. I was so upset, i started cutting myself again, i dont know what to do. i dont know what i did wrong, i would change everything about myself for him. i have never done that in my life, i just have never liked anyone this much, i would say i love him, but "love" isn't real to me at the time, everyone that i thought i loved, left me. whats the point? but he really did break my heart, thats an understatement. i love everthing about him though, he smells fabulous, even when he sweats. his smile makes me happy, his laugh gets me everytime, the way he makes jokes about everything, his gorgeous blue eyes make my stomach get a million butterflies. and his voice, i'll never forget his voice. i wrote a few poems about him:
its not that i still hold on,
its just that i'm scared of
seeing you with someone else.
because its something i never wanted to have to do. remembering to breathe is harder then ever.
but i can't help but analyze each word
and how you looked at me
i spend my nights, dreaming of just how you'll ruin me. nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling.
tell me baby, where did i go wrong?
i could put my arms around every boy i see
and they'd only remind me of you. it hurts to be around you.
when i see you even from across the room.
i remember how much you hurt me,
how i thought this was different.
how thousands of memories come to my mind,
not just of you but my entire life without you. |
